i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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