I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
