i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize