i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
