Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
