in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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