why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize