I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
