I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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