Banned from zoo.
Again?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
