The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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