Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
