Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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