I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Don't make out with my wife yet
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
