hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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