He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
