is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
