i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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