He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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