toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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