i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
