is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Sorry about my life...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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