For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
