why didn't you poke me back
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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