Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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