My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
