I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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