onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize