Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
