If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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