I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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