Jerry, you need to find god
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize