come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
