i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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