Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
