i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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