Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
