Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
