My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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