a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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