I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
