Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
