You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
