thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
