1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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