She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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