dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
That's when you crack a 10am beer
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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