i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
