talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
