yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
