It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
