hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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