I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize