Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
