he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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