Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
