Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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