Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize
