I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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