yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize