So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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